First 250 Words…

Agents claim they can decide if they like a book on two things; the query letter and the first 250 words.  Way back when, I ran the first 250 words of the manuscript I’m querying.  But, let’s try this again.  Below, you’ll find a few things.  You’ll find the first 250 words to the manuscript.  On the blog you’ll find a cute little poll asking if you liked what you read.  After that you’ll see these great buttons that allow you to share the post with your friends.  Your job, as my faithful readers, is to read the 250 words, vote, add a comment (if you’d like), and feel free to share this post with your friends and family.  I’m kidding.  Y’all can just read it and see what you think.

James Westin smirked as he looked at the dossier.  The Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms thought she was twenty-two.  The neo-Nazi, Hans Zeidrich, had accepted the cover story.  If anyone should have questioned the cover story it was Hans Zeidrich.

“Margaret” was easy to manipulate.  It was lucky for Westin that “Margaret” had spent years as a foster child, moving from one home to another.

Convincing her she was aging out of foster care helped, too.  Westin thought while he leaned back in his chair.  His fingers interlocked behind his head.  The look of pure fear when I told Margaret she would be on the streets if she turned me down was pure joy to my heart.

A satisfied grin settled on his lips.  Westin had spent a decade on this plan to take Hans Zeidrich down.  Using Margaret makes this just that much sweeter.  Westin tossed a look out the window.  She would be discarded when Westin got what he wanted.  Yes, Westin thought, revenge is best served cold and the girl is the key.

    Twenty-two?  I don’t buy it for a moment.  Chris Zeidrich thought as he looked at the young woman standing in front of him.  The windows in the rotunda of the drug rehabilitation facility let in enough light to study the young woman in detail.  Pa said she was twenty-two.  Girl can’t be that old.

    The young woman looked as nervous as she felt.  “You are with the Texas Aryan Nation?”

What did you think?  Like it?  Love it?  Take the poll and/or comment below.  Feel free to share with your friends, or an agent you think might like it.  😉  Just kidding about the agent!


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4 thoughts on “First 250 Words…

    • It helps me think I might pull this off! That matters a lot to my self-esteem. 🙂

      But, no, don’t think anyone saying “I’d buy it” helps. Unless they happen to be an agent.

  1. You introduce 4 characters in 250 words. It flips around so quick the reader has no idea what is going on. You need to build a better scene here and give us a place to settle in. Where is James Westin? What is happening in the last two paragraphs? Is the girl in the room with Chris Zeidrich?

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