The Crooked Letter

Nope, I’m not talking about the letter “S.”  I am discussion the latest in my long line of rejection letters.  Okay, maybe not long line, since it is only seventeen, but it feels that way some days.

Y’all will love this rejection.  If my husband hadn’t stolen the printer when he went off to his latest TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) I would scan this one in the computer.  As soon as my husband comes home, I just might.  I know it was from a certain agency because I put return addresses on all of my SASEs.

I’m gonna type this one “word” for “word” because it is hilarious.  (Sorry agents, but I find it funny that y’all send this type of thing out.  I’m sure these are just office mistakes.  Still, it is funny.)

er Author:

ank you for sending your query, which we have read.

ase don’t take this rejection as a comment on your writing ability, because it isn’t intended to be one.  While your idea is not without

rit, we are forced to give serious consideration to the realities of the publishing marketplace when deciding which writers


refore, in order to maintain the quality of service our clients deserve, we must regrettably decline to take on projects other than those

feel we can represent with a certainty of success.

h you every success with this and all of your literary endeavours.  Due to the volume of queries and submissions we receive, I’m unable

ovide a personal evaluations and/or further explanation of our decision.


Um, okay, let me say this is one of those great little problems with the feeder on the copier.  We’ve all been there.  You toss something in the feeder, and the stupid machine decides to run it through at an angle.  I’ve had that burning desire to still use the copies.  A show of hands, how many have had the same experience?  How many have still used the bad print job?  I thought so!  Depending on where the paper was going, I’ve used the bad print job.

Who wants to bet this was a poor, overworked intern?  I figure this agency gets 400+ submissions a week from people like me.  Poor, overworked intern gets to stuff 400+ SASEs with rejection letters.  I checked the dimensions of the rejection letter.  One overworked intern can fit 3 rejection letters on one regular letter sized paper (8.5×11) before cutting it.  That’s 134+ copies said overworked intern must run off before sitting down to stuff them in envelopes.  I’d take shortcuts if I thought no one would notice.  Come on, we all have!  I’m not harping on the agency or the intern, just finding the humor in the letter.

Have a great weekend and be safe!  I will be enjoying my husband coming home on Saturday from an extended temporary assignment.  If y’all get bored, or just need reading material, don’t forget the excerpts over on the website  See y’all after Labor Day!

-Amanda Nicole


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